Why would anyone want just one kid at a time? Moments like the above video just make me love the fact that I have two children who are the same age and are at the same stage developmentally and love playing together. Sometimes it really is a fight but a lot of time they press on each other's bellies and giggle.
So many people that I meet while out with my twins say things like, "I can't even imagine" or "Double Trouble" or "You must be really busy" - I reply to this one, "My husband actually is busier he's the stay at home dad" Man does that one get some weird looks. Lastly, I get the comment "Glad it's not me." - My comment back to them is "me too."
Then my least favorite comment that I get is: "Having twins is not different then having 2 kids who are different ages." I just smile and say, "if you think so, but I'm sure you have no idea what you're talking about" Now granted I only have experience with twins and I'm sure the degree of difficulty of having 2 kids increases tremendously when a second child is added to the family of 1 child. But two kids at separate ages are at completely different stages developmentally. For instance:
- One kid sleeps through the night, newborn up all the time - when you wake up with one you just have a half - hour of feeding with twins it's an hour minimum - And sometimes with twins you are awake all night long because as soon as you finish everything with one (feeding, diapering, reclothing) the other wakes up again, and you finish that one and the first one wakes up again... Oh that was a long 2 months.
- One kid can feed himself most foods, newborn bottle fed then learning to eat, when you feed one there is another one waiting to be fed
- When one kid is crabby and you get him calmed down that's it, twins there's another one that has probably been crying the whole time I was trying to calm the first one down (I've also gotten the comment, "what do you do when they are both crying?" Guess what? One cries: I'm only one person - I think this helped them learn patience.)
- One kid can walk to the store, car, house, park, etc., twins both need to be carried, pushed at the same time
- Teaching 2 kids to use utensils at the same time
- Doctors appointments with the same shots in each child, and 3 kids to console after the shots
At a certain age I'm sure twins will absolutely be no different than 2 kids at separate ages. Like when they can get ready themselves and get into the car by themselves and are able to communicate clearly what the problem is or what's wrong or what they want. But I'm sure there are other difficulites I'll come across then. Like do I keep them together in school or separate them?
So my venting part of this blog is that people who don't know really shouldn't tell me that it is the same. I'm sure they got a lot more sleep then me during the first 3 months, that is the biggest difference. And even now I'm feeding two kids and bed time and bath time rituals last twice as long. So do me a favor. If you read this blog and you happen to come across another mother of twins or multiples don't depreciate their experiences by comparing it to the same as 2 kids, separate ages. I know that I only have experience with twins so you may think I don't know. However, based on the previous comments mentioned in this email (which came from people who have multiple children) obviously the perception is that twins and multiples are more difficult then just having one. Oh and a co-worker had twins first then 10 years later had 1 child and she has told me that it is so much easier to have one than twins and that it was a good thing I had twins first because I don't know the difference. There's my vent I'm sorry if I don't have enough personal experiences and examples to demonstrate my point but hopefully my point has gotten across.
